No Room At the Inn
There's not a whole helluva lotta room in my head at the moment. This is a year now I've been frozen, hiding in my bed while the mins tick by like years and my sense of social responsibility withers. At least before the walls came down I was starting to feel like my life would have more meaning than Crazy Mom, Failed Wife & Lost Daughter.
such wasted potential
the wagging tongues and
nodding heads
tap tap tap at each other
through the ether.
It's like the sacred has been sucked out of the world for me.
Like there's no untainted air left to breathe for me.
I hate money today, and the really savagely rhythmic need to eat and sleep somewhere reasonably unseasonably warm. I have exchanged all my energies, resources and creativity at one time or another for goods and services and always at a negative exchange for my bottom line. I'm exhausted, tapped out, dry to the bone, desiccated and grumpy about it. I'm uncertain about whether I can stand one more sunny Slavebook post about someone else's perfect life while I flounder in a flood of survivor memes...
and then... in the midst of my bloggy-bitching...
MIND BLOWN
--to set the scene---
It's a rainy cold broke no good rents overdue, bus broken down day. Just a general all around funky "give up you losers" kinds of day.
Chris is making me raspberry tea cuz I'm sick and bitterly super emotional and he says loudly, to no one in particular, "It would completely restore my faith in this universe, if someone SOMEONE, would just bring me 20 dollars..."
and then
no shit no lies... less then 5 mins later some random woman shows up to the bus with a 20$ bill, a 25$ gift card, a gallon of milk and a bag of groceries, hands it to Chris and leaves.
he turns to me completely gobsmacked and I just broke down crying.
such wasted potential
the wagging tongues and
nodding heads
tap tap tap at each other
through the ether.
It's like the sacred has been sucked out of the world for me.
Like there's no untainted air left to breathe for me.
I hate money today, and the really savagely rhythmic need to eat and sleep somewhere reasonably unseasonably warm. I have exchanged all my energies, resources and creativity at one time or another for goods and services and always at a negative exchange for my bottom line. I'm exhausted, tapped out, dry to the bone, desiccated and grumpy about it. I'm uncertain about whether I can stand one more sunny Slavebook post about someone else's perfect life while I flounder in a flood of survivor memes...
and then... in the midst of my bloggy-bitching...
MIND BLOWN
--to set the scene---
It's a rainy cold broke no good rents overdue, bus broken down day. Just a general all around funky "give up you losers" kinds of day.
Chris is making me raspberry tea cuz I'm sick and bitterly super emotional and he says loudly, to no one in particular, "It would completely restore my faith in this universe, if someone SOMEONE, would just bring me 20 dollars..."
and then
no shit no lies... less then 5 mins later some random woman shows up to the bus with a 20$ bill, a 25$ gift card, a gallon of milk and a bag of groceries, hands it to Chris and leaves.
he turns to me completely gobsmacked and I just broke down crying.
so take that nihilistic tendencies...
take that Mondays
Take That bitch in my head.
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