~ Still Alive ~

 

tired
defeated
before I even
raise my head
Dazed by how
the words die out
before
ever being said
*
I’ve dozed away a dozen years it seems
Still un-ransomed lies my rest
A month of Sundays I've misused at least
as I always give my best
*
I cannot answer 1 more phone call
no matter how benign the vein
cannot entertain beloved guest
nor accommodate a single tweet or text
if I haven’t changed My clothes in days
Or even left my bed
*
I am a piano box
Chained On the back of Love
Filled with
heavy
dirty
things
*
Amidst this
cuckold of collapse
sadist sirens croon their entropy
& I recognize the song
*
paranoid perched shutdown
Near Unnecessary edge
(Gotta get up now
Gotta lift my head
Gotta get outta this
G0ddamn
M0therF*cking
PRIS0N
0F A
BED)
*
Locked within
2 not-so-proudly lie
still instinctively
I strugglestrive
A meager mountain of a paperweight
I
Still am & still persisting I
Blood drums yet beating
Tired
but Still Alive
*

~e
originally composed 11/18

2nd edit 10/19
most recent edit 9/20